Don’t Judge Me: A Fill in the Blank Parenting Article

Are you a parent? Are you tired of the internet and people around you being all judgey because you parent in a certain way? Tired of reading a million articles about the myriad of ways people think you’re terrible at raising children?

Then look no further! This fill in the blank article will fulfill all your complaining needs about how obnoxious the world is for modern day moms and dads. Whenever you want to feel strongly about how you’re doing with those little minions you’ve created, come back and read this, and it will make you feel vindicated. Here we go!

Don’t Judge Me Just Because I ____________.

You. Yeah, you. I see you. Casting sideways glances at me as my child does __________________ in public. Screw you, man! Raising kids is hard, and I love the little monsters! You think this is so easy? Just because I gave my kid __________milk/formula when they were little doesn’t make me a bad parent. Maybe you should rethink your life if you’re spending all that time judging me, huh? Shaddup.

Oh, and by the way, I am well within my rights to let my kid watch _________ and read ____________. That’s the way I parent. In the words of my child, “Leave me the _____ alone!” Yeah, my kid uses words like that. Not your problem, is it?

And while we’re at it, just because my child spends their day at _____________ has nothing to do with how they’ll be as adults. I’ll raise them exactly as I see fit, and its nonya businez, ya dig? The fact that I let my kids do __________________ at this age is also none of your concern. They’re doing just fine, thank you very much.

I get that we all have opinions. If any internet comments section has taught me anything that is literally the only lesson you can find there. When it comes to parenting my child, though, you can back the _______ off. They are healthy, happy, and thriving, no matter how many _______________ I let them eat every day.

Please kindly mind your __________ business, and I’ll mind mine.

Also if you don’t mind watching the kids for a bit while I nap, that would be _____________.

Life lives here

My floor is clean. 

Ok, it’s mostly clean. Leave me alone, I’ve got a lot going on. 

Between working full time, writing, consulting, moming and wifing, sometimes I forget to sit down and be excited that I have life in my house. 

My fridge is smothered with wedding announcements and appointment cards and my daughter’s toddler art. Somewhere beneath all that is a lovely stainless steel fridge we don’t bother to look at anymore. 

My living room is a parking lot for my daughter’s toys, books scattered haphazardly on a shelf I got tired of sorting. I used to alphabetize my DVDs for fun when I lived alone. 

I took the trash out tonight after it rained, and I breathed in the earthy smell of wet ground. I used to walk through the city, dreaming about that smell, hoping someday I’d find it again. Knowing I would. 

My life is busy now. I’m always tired. I’m always pushing my limits, and when I get time to rest, I don’t know how. I am twelve places at once at all times, and I’m messy. 

I am life, now. 

Life isn’t neatly organized. It’s messy. So, so messy. It makes room for more mess, and the mess blends together into something vaguely cohesive-a story-and then before we know it, it’s done. 

I’m tired because I’m living my life. I’m dreaming and hoping and working toward a goal every day, letting balls drop and picking them up again when I can. 

Perhaps a little mess is good, every once in a while. Perhaps a little exhaustion isn’t such a bad thing, is it? After all, this moment, right now, you and I are life. 

Are you living it, or have you forgotten to notice, like I so often do?